I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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