I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
