You can't special order awesome
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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