You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
it glows. i had to have it.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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