arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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