Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
