3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
