Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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