pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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