You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize
