i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
