so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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