I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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