How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
