Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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