Sponge bath it is.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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