I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
