babies were throwing up all over the place
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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