why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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