Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
