Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
