It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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