i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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