is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
