I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
