You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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