So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
