im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
