at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
