apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
