Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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