I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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