please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
