I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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