The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
