i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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