He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
