she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
