Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I pour the whiskey from now on
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
