i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
