Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize