i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
