How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Im part way to drunk.
Randomize
