Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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