I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
