no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
