I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
