Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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