Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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