i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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