i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
