found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
