and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
