Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
