Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
