You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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