Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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