but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
