**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
