i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
