I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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