READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
