Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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