Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Two words: blizzard sex
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
