I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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